Wednesday, January 7, 2009

January Diet Poem

It was the month after Christmas and all through the house
nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste,
at the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
the wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
and the way I'd never said, "No Thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
and prepared once again to do battle with dirt.
I said to myself, as I only can
"you can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So---away with the last of the sour cream dip,
get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
every last bit of food that I like must be banished
till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie----not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome and life is a bore,
but isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author: Unknown


Linda said...

funny poem and definitely something I need to, that is.

Mar said...

what a great poem!!

An Evolving Artist @ Swallowcliffs said...

Love your blog and your poem. I hope you don't mind, I printed it... it seems perfect to take to our city's annual after the holiday's party for board members, dinner at a lovely restaurant, speeches and such. I thought this might lighten things up!

femminismo said...

Very funny. I can see this posted on many, many refrigerators across the world! - jeanne in Oregon, a souljournal sister

Lisa said...

It would be funnier if it weren't so true. lol I am wearing my husband's pjs right now. :D

Elizabeth Golden said...

This is great!, I spent this week cleaning out my frig. thinking these same thoughts!

afiori said...

lol, great poem!

Don't mean to impose, but here's a tip:
Become a vegetarian and you'll lose weight quick!
You can still have food that is really great
and you'll need to eat cake so you won't LOSE weight :)

Anne said...

Hi there! Hilarious poem! By the way, you've been tagged! See the details on my blog, Gaal Creative! :-)

Brenda Seaholm-Wampler said...

My fat little belly is all a wiggle, with the poem that you posted, has left me all giggles!